Can husband beat his wife?
[The Quran 4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD’s commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.
The problem comes from the word “Idribuhunne” in the verse [4.34] which is translated often as “beat them”. The root of this word is “DaRaBa”. If you look at any Arabic dictionary you will find a long list of meanings ascribed to this word. That list is one of the longest lists in all the Arabic dictionary. It can be said that “DaRaBa” is the number-one multi-meaning word in Arabic. It has so many different meanings; we can find numerous different meanings ascribed to it in the Quran:
* To travel, to get out: 3:156; 4:101; 38:44; 73:20; 2:273
* To strike: 2:60,73; 7:160; 8:12; 20:77; 24:31; 26:63; 37:93; 47:4
* To beat: 8:50; 47:27
* To set up: 43:58; 57:13
* To take away, to ignore: 43:5
* To condemn: 2:61
* To seal, to draw over: 18:11
* To cover: 24:31
* To explain: 13:17
We can witness the verb “DaRaBa” having many different meanings. “DaRaBa” has also other meanings which are not mentioned in the Quran. For example, in the Arabic language, you do not print money–you “DaRaBa” money, you do not multiply numbers–you “DaRaBa” numbers, you do not cease the work–you “DaRaBa” the work. Therefore, the word “Idribuhunne” cannot be translated as “beat them” because it clearly violates the other verses of the Quran.
[3:195] Their Lord responded to them: “I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you male or female – you are equal to one another…
If husband can beat wife then according to the verse [3:195] wife can beat husband too because God does not discriminate woman due to being woman.
So what is the solution? The solution is simple but little bit unfortunate. Life is not always easy! If husband and wife cannot live amicably then God says,
[4:35] If a couple fears separation, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they decide to reconcile, GOD will help them get together. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant.
So if a couple does not want to reconcile, separation or divorce is the solution. We would suggest that do not be hurry for a separation or divorce. Please take time, cool your mind and temper, consider each other positively; hopefully you will eventually be living together once again with love and compassion to each other. Good luck!
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